Closed Mouth, Bitter Heart
\Have you ever experienced moments of feeling lonely? Depressed? Overwhelmed? Alone? I have definitely been there more times than I would like to count. Life has a way of impacting our hearts and our minds tremendously, to the point of wanting to run away from everything, everyone, and the very thing that adds stress to our lives.
Yes, it gets real! I remember spending years and years thinking I was just quiet, staying to myself, being focused, and just a thinker. One thing God had to show me, was that I was operating out of a place of isolation and rejection. Discovering this truth was hard because I convinced myself that I was the total opposite. The hardest part was admitting it.
Instead of reaching out and getting help, I continued to go on day by day and accept the very thing God wanted to free me from. Why? I had no desire to leave the place I was in. It was comfortable and safe. It didn’t require discipline, hard work, selflessness or redemption. I just wanted to be.
The next thing God did was send people to turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh. One by one leaders and friendships arrived and I was bitter and oblivious to the truth. My heart wasn’t open to trusting anyone new because I thought their intentions were evil and not good. One person in particular looked past that and literally loved the “hell” out of me. Yeah, I said it. She loved me with the love of Christ and showed me that God sent her to help restore and not cause any harm.
Over time, I learned that it’s ok to come out of my shell and break the walls I surrounded myself with. Have I ever found myself repeating this cycle? Absolutely! I learned to prepare before those season comes and CONSTANTLY reach out and create a safe and accountable community.
I know you may read this and tell yourself, “this sounds like me.” Just know you have the perfect opportunity to break that cycle.
Here are some helpful tools to get started:
- Seek God for understanding.
- Notice the patterns.
- Find the root.
- Address what caused you to repeat these cycles.
- Refuse to be lonely and isolated.
- Connect with a safe community that you can be honest and accountable to.
The Holy Spirit is the greatest helper and he has given each of us the greatest power and authority to overcome anything that gets in the way of our promise and destiny. Remember, no matter the amount or level of trauma you have experienced in your lifetime, there is healing available for you. Heal today.
“Lord, I pray for every person reading this article. I pray that their mind, body, spirit, and soul will find rest in knowing that you are Abba and you are near to the broken hearted. Thank you for peace, strength and abundant joy. May they find strength in knowing that you are all powerful and all knowing. May their eyes and ears be focused and fine-tuned and may their mouths speak things of good and not evil. Thank you for sending people to their lives that will uplift and not break down. May their hearts be turned from a heart of stone into a heart of flesh. May they seek you always and find favor in your sight.